Why do I constantly tell my stories? To honor the Sacred Feminine that was a missing link in my life for the first twenty-five years. Her absence caused depression, compulsive patterns of behavior with men and food, and feeling like a zombie in this world—a lost soul. Her presence brings inspiration through dreams, visions, out-of-body experiences/astral traveling, holographic images, etc. Her language in my life is an enchanting adventure on an evolving spiral.
I am currently focused on getting to the root of my addiction to sugar. I have hit a layer of “gravity” that does not want me to change and my resistance is at a peak. Yesterday after writing about this I lied down to rest and an image came in. This image continues to hang out in thin air and as a result I am considering it to be holographic. Would that mean that the Third Eye is a holographic receptor and transmitter? What does that mean?
The image was/is a human body peeling a layer from the neck and shoulder downward. It was/is more like skin than a piece of clothing. What is this layer that is causing me to be so resistant to change? How do I continue to peel away this layer that includes an old identity, chemical imbalance, and an addictive habit?
I continue to “stay tuned.”
Staying “tuned” had instantaneous results. I was closing my computer and my eye went directly to a document called My Rapture Book. I opened it and saw a file named Addiction. Here is what I blogged in March of 2006. I include this in my book S/He Dragon ~ How I Found My Wings, Oversoul Chapter.
Who Does She Think She Is?
Who does she think she is, anyway? This Oversoul character…coming into our space and taking charge! We have been handling things quite well for many years now. Hah! She who wants to change things all around. Non-sense! Why just this morning she had us held hostage for two hours…two hours!…determining what we would all have for breakfast. She has this notion that we are a gyroscopic household and that our eating habits need to change to promote balance. I was ready to dive into cookie dough but she put the brakes on that one. Not even one bite! She suggested this “yummy” sprout salad that she would make for us. We nudged her another direction…a compromise you might say: a nutritious soup with toast and butter. She is making us corned beef and cabbage later. And that took two hours? What’s with all her stillness, introspection and contemplation…did she come from some monastary? What I want to know is, “What’s for dessert?” Does she really expect me to give up territory that I’ve held for ages? Does she really expect me to change my nature? My name, afterall, is Resistance…and I expect to live up to it! She does, however, have a way of sweet talking and getting our attention. She told me I could have treats but not in the same way as before. Hummmph! I still wanna know: Who does she think she is, anyway?
That Oversoul ruined my day! Just when I was getting my way with the favorite gingerbread recipe and bottle of molasses she turned to me and said: “Busted!” She picked up on the sexual currents and asked the rest of her household why the prospect of eating gingerbread was creating a sensual/sexual response. They remembered that Aware Eating stuff they were learning and the body work they did with coach Robin. I got absolutely no respect…they cut me off! No gingerbread today…she said the household can have gingerbread when the compulsive behavior stops and there is a better sense of balance. Oversoul is really getting on my nerves! I put those feelings of pleasure there long, long ago to protect her household and distract them from an inner emptiness…a longing for connection. It worked and now everything is being turned upside down, inside out and outside in. Why change that pattern now? Oversoul seems to think the household should have a different sensuality and sexuality that doesn’t focus on sweet treats. Now, what on earth would that look like?
What do I learn from all this? My Sacred Masculine assists with logic putting the pieces (Her images, visions, dreams, etc.) of a puzzle together. His feedback is that a new cycle of “focus” is in play that includes the Third Eye and the physical body. My body must raise its frequency to be more aligned and sharply focused. So, am I shifting a lens and is this that “layer of gravity?”
My question is, my quest is: How do I let more Light in so that it can penetrate the deepest layers of my unconsciousness?
How do I fly higher and dive lower without hitting a wall? And…why the resistance? This dragon is learning to fly!