Monthly Archive: January 2019

Krishnamurti

volcanic eruption

Enlightenment is a process of knowing one’s Shadow and Light.

I’ve been challenged the past few months by my housemate (a temporary situation). She is a perfectionist and I experience that as controlling. We collide when I am not perfect—-when I forget something or do something abnormal like leaving a door open or forgetting to turn off a light. When she goes into offense I go into defense with red hot anger.

Last night as I was contemplating the situation and asking for higher guidance I heard “Krishnamurti.” I asked, “Don’t you mean Yogananda.” “No, Krishnamurti,” was the reply. So I looked him up on dear Google and saw that this philosopher speaks of self love, love of others and relationships. This morning I woke up to revelations about my anger. Thank you!

Why the reservoir of hot lava in my subconscious? Because I have been different all my life and as a result laughed at and ridiculed. This hurts because I want to fit in and be loved. This has also created deep wounds. So, how do I respond to people when I don’t fit their mold? Yes, I could read a book on “how to” or listen to an expert but as usual I prefer to listen within and with that I receive internal teachers and teachings.

With this new awareness about inner wounds and thus grief (my housemate has her own reservoir of wounds and grief) I will continue to be myself—-both Shadow and Light. In that I let others do the same. Will my hot lava settle down now that I know myself better? Will I have new ways to communicate? Will I love myself more and care less about what others think?

There are many ways to respond to others emotionally. One can suppress feelings and watch them erupt at a later time or express them in the moment and get to know oneself.

I now see how Light balances and smooths out shadows. And this is why enlightenment is a process and not a destination. Enlightenment is loving, forgiving—-an evolving spiral.