I left my home town, Tacoma, twice. The last time, 18 years ago, I landed in Woodinville to find myself and a spiritual community. In those 18 years I experienced many community groups, teachers, classes, retreats, books, classes, events, people. A few months ago I felt something coming to an end. Something had stopped. (I blogged about it under the title Pause on December 30.)
It is clear now what this is about. June is the month when a nanny job ends and the house I share is being sold. So, I am returning to my home town! I have sensed this move for months and talked to a daughter about it to test the waters. How would they feel about their “different” mother/grandmother being around more often?
I think about the 18 years here in Woodinville. I like it here and actually feel loved by this city. Isn’t that an odd thing to say? I guess it’s simply a reflection of my feelings about being here—-feelings that go both ways. I will miss all the trees that I’ve come to know. The development, however, is heartbreaking. We have to fight to keep our agriculture valley, we have to fight to keep these trees. So, in my last few months here I continue to do weekly drum meditation in its woods, I continue to love the children I take care of. Returning home is also an act of love. It’s as if more pieces of myself have come together, integrating who I am. And in this new sense of wholeness I get to return home. A complete circle.
The mental mind needs discipline. No, you don’t have to know right now where your new nanny job will be or your new living space. Yes, you can take those steps in a couple of months. In the meantime stay in the moment and learn more about Love—-spiritual Love.
Which reminds me! Since my volcanic eruption with my housemate I am noticing a shift at my core and in my landscape. She is no longer pushing my buttons, getting on my nerves. Why? Because a word keeps popping up from my sub-conscious. That word is “irrelevant.” Odd, how a volcanic eruption can create space for newness. My brain-body is so much like the collective earth-body. We are so Goddess!!
My life-long journey has been about loving myself, others, my community, planet and, with my recent ufology activity, my galaxy and universe. Whew!! That’s quite a ride. Maybe I’ll go home to rest and just be myself with nothing more to accomplish or do spiritually. Now, perhaps my work is simply to Be. That sounds like a fun vacation—-it feels like flying—-a kite flying in wind currents safe, protected, loved.